Written By: Aymann Hafiez J.
The world we are living now has grown so much from the olden days due to Technology. It has grown so rapidly to the extent of if you do not keep up, you will be left behind. However, with technology it enables us to connect from one end to another end within seconds due to the creation of social media such as Facebook, Whatsapp, Line , Wechat and so much more. According to West and Turner (2014) on their Social Penetration Theory, all relationship starts with a small talk and moves to a more intimacy stage where people becomes connected to each other due to the communication theory. So where am I going with this article? Whereby social media becomes a vulnerable threat to relationship which in the end leads to divorce and end of love relationships (Saleh & Mukhtar , 2015)
Social media can give a positive impact in our life as a saying “a random person you meet online is now a big part of our life”. Yet it can bring a negative impact in our life as well, which I will elaborate the issue in more details with my personal experience and opinion. Social media has become an essential tool to communicate and connect with others but it is also a tool to destroy relationships. We sometimes take things for granted when it comes to our relationships as we may think we should have our personal space to whom we communicate and connect outside of our relationships. Yes we do! Without a doubt we have that; however it must come to a fine line between communicating and flirting. This is where people are not aware of the impact of a simple mistake. Have you heard your partner say “We are just friends?” and “Come on he/she means nothing to me”. Well ask them this, “How did we end up in a relationship?” from being a friend to being US.
Due to the blooming of social media applications, we tend to be more virtually active compared to being physically active with our partners. Some people may see talking to people on social media apps inflicts no harm as they believe that it is all up to how you reply to them. Well we are human with needs and desires, we will definitely be tempted to pursue. It is like putting cookies on the table before dinner, and hoping that you will not be tempted to take the cookies and spoil your dinner. So if that is the case do not put the cookies on the table which is the logical solution. As humans, we always think the other side is greener. So when you are in a relationship, pay more attention towards your partner rather than being attentive to others. It is because your partner’s feeling matters most. In a relationship, we should be more sensitive to our partners’ feelings as they are the persons you will want to share your life with and have families with. We might see it as a small thing but ask yourself this “How would I feel if he/she does the same?” We need to understand that we are living in a world where we have to control ourselves however in order to control it we must practice this act of “prevention is better than cure”, Which I find it so relevant to our relationships. Where if a wound is there it can be cured but we may not know how deep is the scar we might have inflicted but if we take the preventive measures no wounds are inflicted and therefore no scars will exist.
Lastly, being in a relationship in this 21st century with the social media growing day by day, we have to be more transparent with our partners because I believe in being transparent is part of a healthy relationship. Look at this way; we talk about government being transparent in all of the information as the public would like to know what is going on however we keep things private with our partners. Hence, are we being hypocrite? When it comes to other things it has to be transparent but when it comes to us, we need privacy with each other. What makes your privacy so supreme than the government’s information? So ask yourselves if you have nothing to hide, then do not be afraid to be in transparency. Being transparent helps your relationship to grow as sometimes knowing your past and present to ensure that the past would not be the future. However, knowing someone’s past is not to judge them but to guide them to be better. When the tough gets going, a true partner would not find someone better but help you to be better. A saying goes “never let history repeat itself”.
Thus, being in a relationship is not about accommodating but rather on commitment to one another to ensure a sustainable relationship. Since being in a relationship will definitely have its ups and downs, it all about communication and listening to one another. However we must listen to understand not listen to reply. Being in a fight, and dramas is normal for a relationship but being in a fight involving a third party is far worst as it will end up having trust issues among each other. So to end my opinion as how should control social media before it controls us, is simple; “prevention is better than cure”.
Saleh, M., & Mukhtar , J. (2015). Social Media and Divorce Case Study of Dutse L.G.A. Jigawa State. Journal Of Humanities And Social Science, 54-59.
West , R., & Turner , L. H. (2014). Introduction Communication Theory . New York : Mc Graw Hill Education.
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